The last six weeks....

Well, let me see.
The last six weeks have been a time of joy and transition, stress, and frustration. I had been on maternity leave since February 16th, the day my daughter was born. These past 3 months have been amazing and educational. The saying is true; you don't really know how hard it is to raise a child until you have one yourself, especially when they are very young. You also have no idea how joyful and fulfilling it is at the same time. Lately, however, It has been rough going through the aforementioned "transition" time while going back to work. Shayna and I had become accustomed to sleeping in and doing things our way. Now, we have to be out the door by 7 am to get her to the sitters and myself to work on time. Work is not my favorite place anymore!!!! I never thought I would be the kind of mom to regret returning to work after the birth of a child. In fact, I imagined myself welcoming it in a way, so that there would be a sense of 'normalcy' back in my life. Now I realize that for myself, nothing would be more normal than being a stay at home mom raising my own child. I miss her terribly during the day. On top of all of this, I have decided to fire my babysitter this next week. She takes care of Shay's needs well enough, and doesn't abuse or neglect her, but the environment in her home is less than ideal for a young infant in my opinion. The gigantic flat screen is always on, its very bright inside at all times, Julietta (the sitter) has a 7 month old baby that is always crying loudly about something (she is a very needy child), and there is not enough one-on-one time provided for my child. The other child always takes center stage. My daughter comes home cranky, exhausted, and confused because it is hard for her to have a normal routine in that house, and I won't stand for it anymore. So, I will be making other arrangements. This way, Shayna will be in her own home, with her own things, and with someone who can give her more individual care and attention. Parenthood is definitely becoming an adventure for me, and I have decided to blog it on another site, more extensively. I look forward to learning more about it, and myself in the months and years to come!